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Writer's Block: Don't fear the reaper

Have you ever had a near-death experience? How close have you come to dying?

No, I've never had a NDE, but I do often find myself thinking about death and what it's like... Sometimes I even wish I had a NDE, just to check if the stories about the tunnel etc are true... :D But I'm not a freak, or suicidal... I like living, I would never kill myself, not on purpose anyway..., and if I'm destined to die, than it's destiny I guess... we'll all die eventually anyway.

Up until now, I've had lots of family members die, all four of my grandparents, and my dad...

My dad dying was the first real shaking moment of my life. He was such a great person, and he was sort of my favorite family member, we always got along great, I was 16 back then, my brother 17, and my sister only 4.

A few years ago my sister almost drowned in our pool, that was the scarriest day of my life. It was especially a shock to me, because I was actually in the pool with her and it's not a big pool ar anything either... I only lost sight of her for about one minute, I was talking to the neighbor who just came. That is one experience I would never wish on anyone. I don't think I would ever be able to forgive myself, and I can only thank God that nothing happened... just remebering it gives me creeps.

The other experience of death that I had was my grandmother dying a year ago. At her funeral I just couldn't get myself to cry... Not that I wasn't sad, I was... but in a way, I was also glad for her... does that sound too weird? I felt relieved for her, because she was really hurting last four-five years... She was always working so hard, her entire life, and then, practically overnight, she couldn't do anything, she couldn't walk, or even sit straight, or eat by herself. She couldn't even talk normally... she started losing memory, and gradually went back to her childhood, talking about her parents who died 20+ years ago, like they were in the same room... until she completely forgot about us at all... last year she was unable to recognize any of us... It was hell for her, and wherever she is now, I hope it's better, I believe that.